The “Accept or Decline” Game: Everyday Decision Trees

Every man who has ever been in public while in the company of other trusted men has played some variant of the “Accept or Decline” game. This goes for women, too. The game is dead-simple. The first man points out a woman across the room and then asks the second man, “Accept or Decline?”

While there is significant and varying subtext that will define what function, exactly, the woman would be “accepted” for, it’s always generally assumed to be one of a romantic nature.

The response to the “Accept or Decline?” query is invariably followed by either hearty agreement, when both parties share the same assessment of the subject in question, or indignant surprise when one party’s assessment significantly deviates from the other’s expectations. Once both parties have made their stances clear, there often follow (sometimes lengthy) dissertations expounding upon the reasons for an “Accept” or a “Decline.”

After running hundreds (perhaps thousands) of these scenarios, I have determined that my own decision making process for this very binary assessment of another human being follows a fairly simple tree:

Why does she have to be a good First Lady?

It turns out that my tastes invariably favor women who possess the sort of poise, intelligence, grace and aesthetic configuration to make excellent President’s wives. However, being possessed of a very human chemistry engine, the lack of those factors can be overridden — at least, initially — by simple hormonal response.

Now that I’ve noticed it, I’m sure I’ll be noting dozens of simple, standard decision trees that determine the course of my life.